No wire hangers!
What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you
no wire hangers, ever?
I work and work until I'm half dead,
and I hear people saying she's getting old,
and what do I get?
A daughter...
...who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her
as she cares about me!
What's wire hangers doing in this closet?
Answer me!
I buy you beautiful dresses,
and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do!
A three-hundred-dollar dress on a wire hanger?
We'll see how many you've hidden over here. We'll see.
We'll see! Get out of that bed!
- All of this is coming out! Out! - Please!
Out! Out!
We're going to see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet.
Why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed!
Get out of that bed!
You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood,
and you don't care if your clothes look hunchbacked from wire hangers.
Mommie, don't! Mommie, stop!
And your room looks like a two-dollar-a-week priced room
in some cheap little backstreet town in Oklahoma!
Get up! Get up, clean up this mess.
Did you scrub the bathroom floor today?
Did you?
Yes, Mommie.
Yes, Mommie, what?
Yes, Mommie Dearest.
When I taught you to call me that...
...I wanted you to mean it.
Come here!
Look at this floor!
Do you call that clean? Do you?
Miss Jenkins said it was clean.
Do you think it's clean?
- Look at that. Do you? - Yes, I do.
Dirt on the floor. We're going to clean this floor, you and me together.
Go! Scrub hard.
Scrub! Scrub, Christina!
- This floor's already clean. - It's not!
This floor is not clean. Look at it!
It's not clean!
Nothing is clean. This whole place is a mess!
Mommie!
Mommie, I don't understand.
Clean up this mess!
How?
You figure it out.
- I'll help you clean it up. - No, go back.
Strap yourself in. She'll kill me if she found out.
Jesus Christ!
No report on Christmas would be complete
without a description of how one Hollywood family spends this holiday.
So now, let us all hop on our imaginary sleigh
and whisk away to the home of one of America's foremost actresses,
Miss Joan Crawford.
We're so very happy to have you with us.
- This is my daughter Christina... - Hello, everybody!
- ...and my son Christopher. - Hello!
All of America knows of your generosity in adopting these homeless children.
And might I say to all of our listeners, they're beautifully behaved.
Thank you. I feel that discipline mixed with love
is such a good recipe.
Christina, do you and your brother get lots of presents at Christmas time?
Yes, we do. Mother's fans send us so many beautiful things,
but we like to share them with other boys and girls who aren't so fortunate.
Could you tell us what will happen after we leave you this evening?
We will probably watch the Christmas tree lights.
Later, we'll welcome some of their friends to help us sing carols.
And surely you'll finish up by reading '''Twas the night before Christmas''?
No Christmas Eve would be complete without that.
As a Christmas present to our listeners, would you all like to say the last lines?
''And I heard him exclaim As he drove out of sight
''Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night''
Goodnight and thank you for letting us share your Christmas Eve.
And thank you, George, and Merry Christmas to all your listeners.
Mommie's not quite ready yet, Mr Gelber.
- Will it be scotch with ice tonight? - Please, but easy with the scotch.
Easy. Easy on the scotch, Christina.
Mr Gelber, I fix all my uncles' drinks this way.
I am not your uncle.
- Mommie, Mr Gelber is here. - Very good, darling.
- Hello, Ted. - Hello, Joan.
You can call him Uncle Ted.
Yes, Mommie Dearest, Uncle Ted.
See you later, Tina, darling.
- It's not good. - You didn't like it?
No, it's not good!
- We have to find something wonderful. - Everything here is just fine.
We've got company.
Tina?
I've brought you a freshener, Mommie Dearest.
Thank you, Tina, darling.
That's quite an extraordinary young lady.
Whatever I did, I won't do it again.
I promise! I can be better.
You'll see. The time'll fly by. You can call me any time, collect.
Mrs Chadwick, how kind of you to greet us. This is Christina.
- I know you'll be happy here, Christina. - I won't.
Please don't make me stay.
- I don't want to leave home! - No, darling. Now, listen to me.
You're not leaving home. You'll be home some weekends and holidays.
What will Mrs Chadwick think?
I'm sure everything will be fine, once you settle in.
I'll call you later, all right?
I understand just how you feel, Christina.
I understand.
Understand.
The first word I ever heard...
...out of any of you was that word...
...''understand''.
There'll be time enough to understand when I'm old,
if I ever am old.
Oh, but not now.
That was great.
- That was great, Christina! - Thank you.
- What play was that from? - It's Antigone.
It's a Greek myth, written by a French playwright.
Can I have your autograph when you're a star?
- Darling, if I'm not too booked. - Not too booked?
Miss Movie Star, what is this, not too booked?
- Stop it, Tony. - Yes, stop it.
Christina, do sit up properly.
Isn't this fun? Us having a date on your weekend home from school?
- Charming hat, Christina. - Thank you, Tommy.
I picked it out myself.
Don't flirt, Christina.
Tommy, we'll have the New York steak for two, rare.
And two limestone salads.
- Thank you, Miss Crawford. - Thank you, Tommy.
Tina, flirting can be...
...taken the wrong way.
Do you understand?
I want to show you something.
I got all As, one B.
- I'm very proud of you, Christina. - Thank you.
Very proud.
And what about your Christmas card list?
Christmas cards? I've been studying for exams!
I'll get the cards out on time, OK?
Being away at school has made you more rebellious.
I am not a baby any more.
Maybe you'd be better off at home.
I'm sorry.
- I have had a lot of schoolwork. - Times are tough.
Still, I treat you to a lovely evening.
And I get smart-aleck back talk!
- I'm sorry, Mommie Dearest. - It's all right.
I've had to let Helga go. I need your help at home this weekend.
Let's have a lovely evening...
...shall we?
- You scared me! - Sorry, Tina.
- How are you doing? - OK.
- Finished? - Almost.
Sit down, Tina. I want to talk to you about something.
What did I do?
It's not you.
Tina, darling, I...
...I'm having some financial difficulties.
I just spoke to Mrs Chadwick.
She's agreed to let you go on a work-scholarship programme.
That's all right.
We'll manage.
You know, I was on a work-scholarship programme.
I worked my way through school scrubbing floors.
Mostly work.
What is it?
There's something else.
I lost my contract at Warner's.
I don't feel I have anybody.
No contract.
No studio.
No money.
Tina, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
It'll be OK.
We'll manage.
I'm scared, Tina.
I'm scared!
After all those years! I never thought it could happen to me.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Don't worry.
Mommie, I love you.
Mommie?
I came up to say goodnight to you.
Mommie?
Mommie!
Carol Ann! Carol Ann!
- Something's happened. - What's the matter?
I came in, and I found her like this.
- I think she needs an ambulance. - She doesn't need an ambulance.
She's drunk.
Come on, let's put her to bed.
- When did she buy all of these? - Two days ago.
They were delivered this afternoon. Come on, Joan. Get up, get up.
She told me we were broke.
Come on, help me! Stop it! Help me, come on.
Come on, Joan.
Give me the pillow.
- Good, good. - Lousy substitute...
...for someone who really cares.
Christina, darling.
- Christina, darling. - Come on, Joan.
Christina, darling.
Sorry it has to be like this, for you, for her.
Come on, Joan.
It all comes out in the washer. It all comes out in the wash.
- Hi, Tony. - Hi.
You handle that horse pretty well for a lousy rider.
He's a great horse. Want to ride him?
- When? - When you want to.
- I work all day. - How about tonight? I'll go with you.
- What about Vera? - She's just a friend.
- 8.30? - Right here? OK.
OK.
- That's my first kiss. - I'll bet.
Well, kinda.
- Swell! This is really swell. - Vera?
I am going to tell. I am. I am going to tell!
How could this happen? How could you humiliate me?
I'm ashamed to be your mother. How could you let this happen?
Both have been put on probation and will have no privileges for a month.
Probation! I have devoted myself to making her a proper young lady.
That boy should be expelled!
- When this has happened before... - Before?
Is this an institution of learning, or a teenage brothel?
Chadwick has an impeccable reputation.
When students break the rules, we curtail their freedom.
We are leaving. Obviously, she cannot be controlled in this environment.
Nothing really happened. It was innocent.
- No thanks to you! - I think you're overreacting.
And I think you're under-reacting!
My compliments to your school on its impeccable reputation.
Christina, come on!
There's a liquor store to the right.
I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.
All right. Tina, look at me.
Barbara Bennett is here from New York doing a cover story on me.
Tina, look at me... when I'm talking to you!
This is very important to me. I don't want any trouble from you!
- We're back. - You're going to love this!
Movie star manages to have it all: career, home and family.
Let me see that.
My God! Christina?
It can't be!
The last time I saw you, you were four.
- How are you, Miss Bennett? - Call me Barbara.
They're teaching you some fancy manners at Chadwick.
That's not all they've been teaching her.
- How do you like school? - Very much, thank you.
- She got expelled. - That's a lie!
Excuse me, Barbara.
Christina, I want to talk to you... in the other room!
- Why do you defy me? - Why did you tell her I got expelled?
- Because you did get expelled! - That is a lie!
You love it, don't you? You love to make me hit you!
- Joan! - Barbara, please.
Leave us alone, Barbara. If you need anything, ask Carol Ann.
This is wonderful. This is wonderful!
You deliberately embarrass me in front of a reporter!
A reporter! I told you how important this is to me. I told you!
Why did you adopt me?
What?
Why did you adopt me?
Because I wanted a child.
Because I wanted someone to love.
Don't you act for me.
I wanna know!
Why did you adopt me?
Maybe I did it for a little extra publicity.
Tina, that's not true!
You know that's not true.
Maybe just a little true.
I don't know what to do with you.
- I don't know what to do with you. - Why not?
I don't ask much from you, girl.
Why can't you give me
the respect that I'm entitled to?
Why can't you treat me
in the way I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Because I am not one of your fans!
- Mommie! - You never loved me!
Mommie!
- Mommie! - You've hated me!
You never loved me!
Never!
You've always taken and taken!
You never wanted to be my child!
You've always hated everything!
Everything! Everything!
Get out!
Dear Christina,
God has brought you to our convent school
so that you can see the error of your ways.
Your mother has told us how difficult you've been, at home and at school.
She has requested the strictest discipline for you.
There will be no privileges.
You're not to leave the school.
There will be no telephone calls in or out,
no visitors, no mail.
You have sinned in the past,
transgressed against the Holy Commandments,
but you shall find forgiveness here...
...and be cleansed.
Let us pray together for your repentance.
The good Lord will grace you with his comfort and guidance.
To Joan and Alfred, a long and happy marriage.
Hear, hear!
Hold it! Look this way, please.
Thank you.
Alfred, darling, I'm so happy!
Speech! Speech!
Thank you all for being here on such short notice.
If this marriage comes as a surprise to some of you,
just think how I felt when Joan said yes.
A few minutes ago, a reporter asked me what I thought,
and how I would describe the marriage between the soft-drink king
and the queen of Hollywood.
I told him I thought it was a helluva match!
That's my Pally.
Pally, that's what he calls you when he can't remember your name.
Don't let her kid you. I remember her name. It's Mrs Alfred Steele.
- Right, Pally? - Right!
Thank you, Sister...
...for being so good to me.
These years have been very hard.
Goodbye, dear child.
God be with you.
Thank you.
No, thanks. I can manage it. I'm OK.
Mommie?
I miss you, too, darling.
Yes, but you get to New York so often.
You know, we'll see each other there.
I've put the house up for sale.
Corporate headquarters are in New York.
Darling, my daughter's here. I'll talk to you before we leave.
Love to you, too.
Hello, Mother.
Christina, I want you to meet my husband.
- What do I call him? - What would you call your father?
Go introduce yourself. Go on!
Hi, Daddy. I'm Christina.
Hello, Arthur.
I don't know what to do. That bitch of a bearing wall is blocking my view.
I'll tell you what to do.
Tear down that bitch of a bearing wall
and put a window where it ought it be.
Tina, what do you think?
It'll be great.
- Darling, coffee? - Yeah, sure.
Tina, darling, coffee?
- So, you're acting? - Yeah.
- Where? - Mostly in stock.
- I think I may be pretty good. - Good luck, darling.
I have been working nights, so I can go on interviews during the day.
But the thing is, I...
...I was wondering if you could lend me a little money, to get by this month.
Not a cent.
Joan, come on! A little something.
Doing things on your own is best.
Don't you agree, Tina?
Sure.
I'll get by.
Between us.
Now, the sofa... This is wonderful. And this chair...
- That is my favourite, I think. - It's mine, too.
Would you excuse us for a minute, please?
Al, look at this. It's perfect, except for the colours. They're too strong.
- And I want you to look at these. - I hate to bring this up, but...
...we're going to have to cut back on the spending.
What are you talking about?
I'm doing this for you. I'm turning this apartment into your showplace.
You're doing a marvellous job. But we've got to economise.
Most of our expenses, including this apartment, are for your company.
We have to look great for Pepsi-Cola.
I want us to look great and us to live well, but there's a limit.
We're going into debt.
Al, you're a great businessman.
You and your company have found a movie star to sell your soda pop.
- You've got to pay the price. - Pally, be reasonable!
You've got everything you need. Just look at this joint!
You are the genius of the soft-drink world.
Get the goddamned company to pay the bill!
Joan, you've got to understand, it's a public company.
This isn't Hollywood. This is the real world.
The real world expects us to live in a certain way.
That way is breaking my back.
We'll find a solution.
You love a challenge.
OK, Pally.
The condolences of every person at Pepsi-Cola are with you.
- Al Steele helped make this company. - And you were by his side,
sharing the burdens and the joy.
And we want to give you ample time to repay the debt,
plenty of time.
We'll have to take the Fifth Avenue apartment.
You wouldn't want to stay there alone, anyway.
What debt? I've got 1 00,000 shares of stock.
Your husband had to borrow to pay for the construction on your apartment.
We loaned him a considerable sum to meet expenses his salary didn't cover.
You think you're very clever, don't you?
Trying to sweep the poor little widow under the carpet.
Well, think again.
I'm on the board of directors of this lousy company.
We assumed that you would no longer want to be on the board.
Al and I helped build Pepsi to what it is today.
I intend to stay with it.
We appreciate your devotion and contribution, Miss Crawford.
But we have retired you from the board of directors.
You drove Al to his grave, and now you're trying to stab me in the back.
Forget it!
I fought worse monsters than you in Hollywood. I can win the hard way!
We don't want any hard feelings.
You don't know what hard feelings are
until I come out publicly against your product. You'll see how much you sell.
It's hardly necessary to make threats you surely don't mean.
Don't fuck with me, fellas!
This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
You forget the press I delivered to Pepsi was my power.
I can use it any way I want.
It's a sword,
cuts both ways.
The board has failed to realise the extent of your interest in the company.
We...
...misjudged.
We shall be pleased to have you stay on.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Now, let's get to work.
Coming.
Mommie.
- Hello, Tina, darling. - I wish I had known you were coming.
I just happened to be in the neighbourhood.
I would have straightened up a little bit.
It looks quite neat to me.
Jesus Christ!
I'd forgotten what it was like.
Sit down.
- How are you, Tina? - Been making rounds.
A lot of rejections, but I'm up for a part.
- Good! - It's a soap opera.
It's very good experience.
- Have you got a glass, darling? - Yeah.
You know where I got this from? Batista himself.
When I opened the plant outside Havana.
- That's all they gave you? - That's it.
Cheap bastards!
- Do you miss all that? - I miss Al more.
So, how are the guys?
Guys are guys. It hasn't changed.
I brought you a gift.
Thank you, Mommie.
They were the first present that Al ever gave me.
They're beautiful.
I want you to have them.
Thank you.
Tina...
...if you don't get this part, for Christ's sake, don't hock 'em.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Thank you, Mommie.
- Don't be a stranger. - No.
- Four o'clock yet? - It's five after.
Five after! Turn the set on, now!
I want that set on every day at four sharp.
I'm going to try to make him happy. You know, in every way.
You two make a lovely couple.
I want so much to be a good wife.
- You will be. - But there's so much to learn.
Don't worry. Love conquers all, right?
You're so good to me, Susan. You're so understanding.
How's your mother doing?
You know Mom. She's been secretly planning this for years.
You're in good hands, then.
Sometimes I feel like it's her wedding.
But Bruce is being good,
although I know he feels very far removed from all the planning.
She's doing quite well, don't you think?
She's improving.
A lot of fans have written how impressed they are with Christina,
and how proud you must be of her acting.
Well, something good had to rub off.
Come on, let's get to work.
Mommie!
Miss Crawford?
I'm Belinda Rosenberg, Christina's producer. Thank you for calling us.
- How is she? - She'll be fine.
It was an ovarian tumour, but completely benign.
It's a rotten break for her. This won't affect her job in any way, will it?
- How long will she be here? - The doctor's not sure yet.
Tell you what, let me call you tomorrow. We'll discuss it.
- Please. - Good.
Your show's on. Don't you want to watch?
To see how well they manage without me?
To see your mother.
They announced your mother is going to stand in for you until you're well.
She can't.
My character's only 28 years old.
Could you...
Could you call...
- You want me to call Cindy for you? - Yes.
You know, she wants to...
I know she wants to have an affair with Robert.
But are you sure his divorce is final?
His divorce is final?
Fade...and out!
- Miss Crawford, are you all right? - Fine, just nervous as hell.
- Give me a drink and I'll be all right. - We've only got another 90 seconds.
You just keep finding those cue cards.
That's the problem. The cue cards are too low. Tell them to bring them higher.
- I think that's where I went wrong. - Right. Are you all right?
OK, go.
You look perfect.
In ten, please.
Nine, eight...
...three, two, one.
Now, what about us...
...about our situation?
- Maybe we should elope. - No!
- Absolutely not! - I was afraid of that.
Be serious now, Bill. Mother and I have to make plans today.
I was serious. Think of all the work it will save your mother.
Mom loves every minute of it.
Don't you have any more romantic ideas?
A small, simple ceremony.
It'll be grand.
Turn it off. Turn it off.
Come on in.
- Here's what your mother picked out. - Let me take that from you.
My God, Carol Ann. She's still picking out clothes for me!
She went to such lengths to pick out the right colours.
Well, I hope it fits.
It is pretty, pretty colours.
Carol Ann, let me get you a cup of tea, or something.
Carol Ann?
Carol Ann? What is it?
Oh, Christina.
What's the matter?
Your mother is going to be so alone when you leave.
Don't you worry.
She'll be all right.
She always is.
Hello?
Yes, Mommie.
No, she's here.
Mommie, I told you. I want to do it for you.
As the final event of this prestigious evening,
we bestow our organisation's highest award of merit
upon a woman known not only as an Academy Award winning actress,
but also as a businesswoman held in high regard
for her charitable, civic and professional contributions.
It is an honour for me to present this award of recognition
to a truly great lady, Miss Joan Crawford.
With us tonight to accept the award on behalf of her mother
is Miss Crawford's daughter, Christina.
Thank you.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a privilege to be with you tonight, to accept this honour, this award,
on behalf of my mother, Joan Crawford.
When I spoke with her, she asked me to convey her deepest gratitude.
She wanted so much to be here in person tonight.
But she was simply not well enough.
I know she would want me to say thank you
to each and every one of you
who made this honour possible.
And on a more personal note...
...I would like to say directly to her...
...congratulations!
And...
...I love you...
...Mommie Dearest.
Thank you so much.
Oh, Mommie.
I always loved you so.
It's over...
...the pain.
There's no more pain.
You're free.
You're free!
Oh, Mommie!
Mommie!
Oh, Mommie.
Christopher.
I'm so glad you're here.
- You OK? - Yeah.
- You? - OK.
- Did you meet David, my husband? - Yeah.
- Let's go out, get some air. - OK.
Miss Crawford, I've always been such a fan of your mother's.
I do hope you feel we've done her justice.
I worked from my own personally autographed photo of your mother.
You did a beautiful job. She looked lovely.
Thank you.
Christina, Christina!
My little Tina.
She always loved you...
...so very much, Christina.
I need to believe that.
I need so much...
...to be able to believe that now.
She did.
Here it is.
This is the section pertaining to you and Christopher.
It is my intention to make no provision herein
for my son, Christopher...
...and my daughter, Christina,
for reasons which are well known to them.
What reasons?
Jesus Christ!
As usual, she has the last word.
Does she?